“People come, people go – they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.” - Nicholas Sparks
I used to hate that quote.
Or rather, I used to want to believe that it wouldn't be completely accurate. I didn't want to hear that when I'd move on with my life, the people I'd loved best - my bffs - would become secondary somehow. What did it matter that all of them would be miles away from me? That's what the internet is for, right?
I was wrong.
It mattered that we didn't live in the same place anymore.We didn't have a lot to talk about anymore; our lives stopped overlapping as much - if at all. We still have things in common, and we still like each other; when we met, we still could chat away like we did in high school. It's important to understand that I do love my best friends from school - I'd make an effort to meet up any chance I get. I just suck at actually keeping up with them, and I'll own up to that character flaw of mine.
But it's not the same. Communication isn't so easy when you've got separate lives to worry about. You don't need to talk every day to remain good friends, that's absolutely true, but sometimes I find myself wondering if I even really know them anymore, or if they'd know me as I am now. They're not always there for me - they can't - just as I'm not always there for them. I share my best, worst, and everyday moments with new people, just as they do. There are all these details that you've got to live through together to bond over, and an email or IMs or Skype can't cover.
Sometimes this makes me sad and guilty. When I flick through facebook and see that they've got a new boyfriend, a new job, or even graduated and I can't even remember off the top of my head what their major was. When I realize I'd never remembered to tell them I was going to graduate. When I talk to my new friends and think 'wow, I don't know if anyone's ever understood me like this'. When I flick them a message and don't hear back, and I too fail at reaching out when I should.
Perhaps it is natural to move on. You close one chapter and move on to the next one, and you hold on to those friends you've made from the previous life the best you can because they are precious and you love them. But you move on and make new ties, and I guess that's okay too.