Saturday, July 20, 2013

What Cory Monteith's Death Means to Me

Earlier this week I found out, while listening to Glee's Marry You no less, that Cory Monteith was found dead in his hotel room. I was heartbroken. A part of me hoped that it was a cruel internet joke, but alas it wasn't. I watched Glee religiously during its first 3 seasons, often watched the same episodes for a couple of times and I have an iTunes playlist dedicated to the show's soundtrack. And when Lea and Cory made their relationship public, I was happy for them.

I know that knowing who Finn Hudson was is no way near to knowing who Cory Monteith was. But I can't help to feel that for all the times I watched him on Glee, a bit of Cory was seeping through the Finn facade. Like the time when he found the grilled cheesus. Or the time when he had "Vitamin D" from Will's wife. Or the time when he was angry at Kurt for having a crush on him. Or the time when he let Rachel go chase her dream in New York. And the time when he finally realised that he wanted to be a teacher.

Like Finn, Cory was just getting the hang of being Cory when tragedy struck. He was in a great relationship with Lea Michele, he was preparing for a career outside of Glee by getting jobs in movies and he seemed happy. His death means a lot to me because I get what Finn, or Cory, went through. I get his confusion, his uncertainty, and him having a hard time to understand what to do when his idealistic views of life and reality came to a halt and it wasn't what he expected. I get it. Just like any other confused, uncertain, and doe-eyed graduate out there gets it.

The mix of emotions didn't stop there. After reading about the countless outpouring of love that came through from the people that knew him, I was shattered. Cory was described as an incredibly kind person, generous, extremely passionate, a bright light... and the list goes on and on. His death has made me do something that even a best selling self-help book couldn't make me do. It made me rethink of some of the choices I made in life, and it made me want to live life to the fullest and not waste any time. To be kinder, more adventurous, and to be thankful of the gifts that life has thrown me.

So here's to you Cory. Here's to all of the fun memories you've given me through songs, funny behind the scenes videos, and more importantly thank you for making the world a bit brighter by being the person that you were. May you finally rest in peace, rest assured that you will be missed and that you are loved.