Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Stand among the stars

I've often had insecurities about being the mousey one in a group of beautiful, successful, popular, essentially-good friends. These thoughts threaten to pull me under especially when my life seems to be lacking a clear direction and I'm feeling like a failure.

Remember when Ron Weasley's insecurities got the best of him? I can totally relate.

The last time this happened, I tried to remind myself that these friendships I have aren't based on pity or manipulation. My best friends have never tried to use me or boss me around. They don't invite me to hang out with an 'oh alright, you can come along' attitude. They're my friends because, for reasons I sometimes can't understand myself, they love me. For the past six months, I've been informed in various ways by the people I left that they were missing me, and by the ones I reunited with that they'd been looking forward to see me. Aside from my own anxieties, I wasn't given any reason to think that these were merely perfunctory.

I tried to remind myself that there are so many reasons about why these are my friends. We have things in common, we enjoy each other's company, and perhaps we're not so unequal as I sometimes think.

Besides, would I want a different set of friends? No. I've had friends who dragged me down, clouded my head with their pessimism and lack of effort in everything. I didn't like it.

The people I've surrounded myself with are the kind to encourage me to forge forward and try to beat the obstacles because they do the same. Their hard work and success push me to strive for the same because - when I quit feeling sorry for myself and apart from my own life goals- I just don't want to be left behind. They're good friends to me, and a good influence.

It's not easy to be outshined, but I'd rather be surrounded by stars than be in the dark. Some days, or someday, I may shine just as bright.